Black Friday

I AM one of those Americans. I admit it. I Black Friday Christmas shop every year. I used to do it because when money was tight, I had to if I wanted to provide the Christmas my family deserved. Now I do it because I have a wonderful time doing it. I have always compared my black Friday shopping trips to big game hunting. I experience the same pleasure when I see those one thousand thread count sheets for $15.00 in my cart, as big game hunters feel when they just shot that 12 point buck. Mr. Irvine took that feeling of mine and ramped up to an extreme conclusion.

For the record, I have been black Friday shopping for over 20 years, and in that time I have only seen one fight break out, and that was over the cheapest towels I have ever seen. Compare that to the literally hundreds of little acts of kindness I have seen during my Black Friday events and I believe Mr. Irvine just might have the wrong idea on this.

This story is of course a satire and needs to be read as such.