Feed

Mira Grant I tip my hat to you. You, or more specifically your novel Feed was so bad that after four failed attempts I have thrown up my hands and have admitted that this novel beat me. I will not be finishing this asinine book for the following 4 reasons:

1. I guess I'm just too old for all this blogger shit. I don't have a twitter, Tumblr, or Snapchat account, nor do I want one. I need more than 250 characters to express myself. Oh yeah and on a related note "Irwins" give me a break! This novel is supposed to be set in the future so if you were going to using dated references Ms. Grant, if that is your real name, you should at least use the right one. Steve Irwin was a naturalist and conservationist, and although I have to admit that I did not regularly watch his show, I'm pretty sure he did not go around "poking things with a stick" and then shooting them in the head for ratings. The reality is people like the character "Shaun" and their mom would have been called "Knoxvilles" because they definitely had more in common with a group of "Jackasses."
2. I love snark as much as the next reader (if in doubt see above and below) but who could love George and Shaun and their creepy, insular, quasi-incestuous, snark-filled relationship that was the central relationship in the novel.
3. Why is the only female politician in the entire novel a silicone inflated whore who is known for garnering votes by promising to wear more and more revealing outfits? Ms. Grant, do you hate women?
4. And most criminal of all. This novel had a piss poor plot. I knew who the killer was on page 166 as soon as he was introduced. How did I know he was the killer? Well you had to look close, but there were subtle hints. I began to suspect when he was introduced to the reader. In his first scene he was seen kicking a dog and simultaneously tying a woman to a railroad track while twirling his handlebar mustache, and drowning a bag of kittens while spitting on some orphans. But I was sure when he sat down to a nice plate of veal piccata, dressed in a coat made of 101 Dalmatian skins. Enough said?

I am sure Ms. Grant will continue to go on and have an illustrious carrer writing this dreck. Thankfully she will be going on without me!

-1 out of 5 stars (is that even possible!)