The Unscratchables

Cornelius Kane
The Unscratchables Cover

The Unscratchables

Badseedgirl
1/28/2015
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When I was reading The Unscratchables by Cornelius Kane I could not stop smiling. I just really enjoyed reading this book. And when it was done, I was sad to know that he never went on to write more in what easily could have been and entertaining series of novels. But when I sat down to write this review and really started thinking about why I liked the book I became stumped. Why did I like this novel? Looking at it critically all I can do is scratch my head in confusion and wonderment.

Let's start out by looking at it on face value. It is on the surface a novel set in an alternate reality world in which anthropomorphized cats, dogs, and at least two foxes live in a New York City-like city. The novel it written in a classic noir mystery style to start with a hard-nosed police detective investigating the apparent gangland murder of two known gangster muscle. Think Mickey Spillane or Dashiell Hammett. This right here might be the answer to why I loved this novel. I love noir in movies and novels and I love Dogs. Combine the two and it almost guarantees that the book is going to be a hit, at least for me. I mean, isn't Asta the best character in the Nick and Nora movies (Movies, not books I said). Now think how awesome it would have been if Asta had been solving the crimes! 5 star book so far.

Ok let's discuss puns. The puns were never ending and just awful in this book. Here let me add to them, you could not swing a cat without hitting a pun on every page of this book. From a Whippet named "Flasha Lightning", to an island named "Kathattan", Mr. Kane punned, and punned until I thought my eyeballs were going to bleed. I swear the author even named one character Quentin Riossiti just so he could end the novel with the worst pun of the entire novel. The thing is the there were so many puns and they were so bad, that after a while they actually did become funny. Still I'm taking off ½ a star for the pun-torture. 4.5 star book.

Mr. Kane begged, borrowed, and "paid homage" to several sources for his plots. His FBI, Feline Bureau of Investigation, agent Cassius Lap, was definitely a cat version of the famous FBI agent Aloysius Prendergast from Douglas Preston and Lincoln Childs novels. His character "Quentin Riossiti" is an obvious "homage" of Thomas Harris's character "Hannibal Lecter." This sort of begs the question; did I like the novel because it reminded me of other, better novels? Sorry Mr. Kane but I think I'm going to have to take of ½ a star for the possible plagiarism. Now a 4 star book.

The thing is once you get past the puns, the pop culture references and the obvious rip-offs from other novels, there was some real meat on this light-hearted bone of a story. The novel was written in 2009, a full 2 years before the "Occupy Wall Street" movement, but could have been used as a primer for the movement. That the author was able to wrap a satire of general society being kept ignorant and under control by the wealthy elite with mindless entertainments designed to delight but not to enlighten in an enjoyable murder mystery was ingenious. And in this Cornelius Kane stands and delivers. I'm giving this novel 4 stars.

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