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Synopsis

In 1897, aliens observing Earth accidentally unleash a horde of zombies across the planet. Anita Hemmings joins Samuel Clemens and Edith Wharton in a desperate fight for their lives, while the aliens seek assistance from Voltaire, Caravaggio, and Alexander Hamilton to help save Earth from an ignominiously chewy death.

Excerpt

Chapter One

The appearence of zombies could be seen as an honest mistake, if one looks at the circumstances objectively.

It appears that in the Earth year 1897 (Gregorian claendar), a team of alien explorers was observing the Earth and all its foibles, in an attempt to discern why humans hadn't evolved much since they stopped being monkeys. At best, they were getting taller, but that hardly seemed anything to write home about. Getting taller didn't appear to mean much to the evolutionary process other than a species being able to reach higher bookshelves, which while it did allow for the species to keep more reading materials in the house, it wasn't necessarily deemed by the aliens as progress.

The two heads of this alien expedition had unpronounceable names that required an extra tounge and a far more dexterous uvula than humans have access to, so they will be referred to as Patrick and Ken in this story. With this in mind, as a point of reference, their planet will be referred to as "Montana" from this point forward.

Patrick and Ken were disillusioned by their findings up to this pint, finding humanity to be rather limited in scope, and therefore uninteresting, other than they were getting much better at building large smoke-vomiting structures that compromised the atmosphere, but oh well. They had briefly toyed with the idea of probing individual human beings to see what made them tick, but once Ken found out what device would be used, and what it would be inserted into, he promptly vetoed the whole idea. Ken then came up with a counter-proposal. It would require a certian amount of "ressurection" capability, which the aliens certainly had access to, but were scketchy about using. First of all, there was a moral imperative at springing an ended life force back into the thick of it once more, but that was easily dismissed. To aliens, moral imperatives were "silly." The second and far more important reason was that the mechanics used for such projects were relatively new and therefore possibly not up to snuff. Also, if used, the legal amount of resurrecting was one being, but that hardely seemed enough to gain any clear knowledge. But again, Patrick and Ken were bored. the end result would be that the aliens would rebirth certian figures (more than one) from Earths past and study them directly - no probing- in order to gain a better understanding as to how the best of this rather bland congregation got along. It seemed like such a good idea.

The precess involved much collected data, harvested inside a very small but powerful hard drive, lots of tubes and flickeing buttons, and a rediculous amount of radiation. The radiation was the key. Again, the word for this type of radiation used would be completly incomprehensible by human standards and modes of language, so we'll just refer to it as "upandatium." Once the process was ready to go, the upandatium was activated in full, and those who were selected as representatives of the best minds of Earth's historical records had their genetic code programmed one by one into the tubes mentioned before, to become fully functioning human beings once again inside large glass pods.

And here is where it became problematic. So much radiation was used that it flowwed out of the craft, into space and, as consequence, through Earth's freshly compromised atmosphere, which wasen't as strong as it had been in years past. The force of the upandatium, which was not directed with purpose, struck half the Earth (as point of fact the northern hemisphere) and therefore animated the dead. Therefore, the zombie problem. And not just zombie humans: zombie goats, zombie flamingos, zombie wallabies, zombie fish, even zombie krill. The bright side may have been that most of the dead buried in the planet were degraded to such a point that they had not even one brain cell to trigger into life. They remained remains.

If that wern't bad enough, of the two hundred thirty-three specimens Patrick and Ken had decided upon, only two were properl resurrected, that being the philosopher and novelist Francois-Marie Arouet, otherwise known as Voltaire, and the rather psychotic painter Michelangelo Merisi Da Caravaggio. Two hundred and thirty started out nicely but instantly became dust, and one became somewhat dead-esque. This would be the famed American diplomat Alexander Hamilton, whom Patrick did not want, but Ken insisted upon. Not that Patrick and Ken wern't pleased that atleast two had worked out, but let's be honest, out of two hundred thirty-three, it wasen't exactly something that would earn them an award, if aliens believed, which they certianly did not. Especially considering the additional fact that they had unloosed the dead upon an unsuspecting Earth population.

So you see? Just a bit of a foul-up. And even so, despite all this oversite, they could hardly be blamed for the vampire. They certianly had nothing to do with that.

Copyright © 2015 by Sean Michael Welch

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